Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
