I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
