How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
When are your genitals available?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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