i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
