I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
My bed smells like the plague
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
