If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
