haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
