She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
