WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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