paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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