The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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