Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
