Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
