I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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