when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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