I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
