a queef is a wish your heart makes.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
