it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
