I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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