So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
