i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Randomize
