Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Is Oprah even human
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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