Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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