The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
