So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
