very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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