I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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