I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
This is classic penis vs brain.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
