you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
