question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
