You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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