we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Brb crying the tears of my youth
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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