Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
no you cant smoke seaweed
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
