stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
