I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
