wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
