Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
