oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
