Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Success! We fucked roommates!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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