Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
