guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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