Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
