K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
