I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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