i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
