Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
