I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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