I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
