I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
