I need help removing her.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
